Complimentary
by ipodshuffle266
Summary: Well, in short, Aizen moved to Hawaii with Gin, and so all the Espada are set free. Grimmjow decides to live with Ichigo. Somehow...I don't think Ichigo is too happy about this.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Bleach!!!**

**Thanks to my beta, TheOtherKeybladeMaster, who is generally awesome and also one of my BFFS!!!**

It was a hot summer day in Karakura Town and Ichigo Kurosaki was staring out the open window at the baseball field. As always. The teacher was droning on about square roots or inequalities, or something equally boring. He lazily moved his chocolate brown eyes around the room in which he was currently imprisoned. Chizuru had given up on the teacher and was now staring at Orihime rather, erm...hot and bothered-ly. Keigo was PMSing again and was randomly crying for some reason. By the look of it, Mizuiro was still hot for older women from the way he was glancing at Rukia. As Ichigo moved his eyes to Orihime, he realized that she was staring at him with a really strange look in her eye. He finally got creeped out enough by that weird ginger girl to tune everything out again. He was just about to fall asleep when he thought he heard someone calling his name from outside.

_It's just my imagination_, he thought.

"ICHIGO!!!" someone shouted. Strawberry finally decided to look out the window.

Oh. My. God.

A familiar-looking man was standing on the field, grinning hugely up at him. His hair was gleaming bright aquamarine in the heavy sunlight. He was sort of wobbling around, seeing as he was somehow balancing in five-inch stilletos. He also sported a pair of neon green swimming trunks, a hot pink 'I HEART YURI' t-shirt, and Paris Hilton-style sunglasses. It was Grimmjow...in what might possibly the gayest clothes Ichigo had even seen. Probably from Isshin's closet.

Ichigo blinked a few times, hoping fervently that he was hallucinating. He swore under his breath, and Rukia gave him a frowny, mommish look. _Well, she is old enough to be my great-great-great-great grandmother, so that counts for something_, he thought. Ichigo forgot about said look within 2 seconds, and shot his hand into the air. The teacher paused for a minute, then asked, "Yes, Kurosaki?" She was looking at his hair rather than his face.

"May I take a trip to the restroom?"

She nodded and began speaking in a monotone again.

Once Ichigo was out of the classroom, he broke into a run. A million thoughts raced across his head.

_What the hell is he doing here? Why did he borrow dad's clothes? Why did he appear at my school? Why did he look so tan? _He stopped running for a moment and pondered this.

_Fuck. Why was there a sexual connotation in that string of thoughts?_

He could hear his dad now: "HAHA UR A FAGGOT!!!"

And Yuzu: "It's okay Ichigo, these thoughts are good things!" but he had known she liked that stuff ever since he walked in on her reading a book full of that crap.

Karin...Karin would just laugh. Ichigo shook his head to clear it and carried on until he reached the baseball field.

"GRIMMJOW!!! WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?" he yelled.

"Oh hey, Berry-chan," Grimmjow said, smirking. "I was just-"

Before he could finish, the ginger had tackled him into the nearest bush. "Jeez, that was some greeting," Grimmjow said. "What did I ever do to you?"

Ichigo sat up, panting. "The only topic of conversation right now should be why you're here, you dumbass panther."

"Hmmm....well, you see...it all started a couple of months ago," Grimmjow said. "Aizen started to act more and more disinterested with his plans involving Karakura Town and the Soul Society. And more and more often, we saw him with Gin Ichimaru, talking and giggling about something. Yammy swears he saw them kissing once. And the sick bastard probably enjoyed seeing it too....

"Anyway, Aizen finally announced that he was going to go and live with Gin in Hawaii. He told us we could all go free and live as we please, so I came here to live with you," he finished.

For the second time that day, Ichigo Kurosaki found himself blinking in disbelief. He sighed, wondering why his life was so chaotic.

"I'm also attending your high school now, Ichi-chan," Grimmjow said, beaming at him.

"Grimmjow?"

"Yeah?"

"Never call me that again."

A few minutes later, Grimmjow was sitting behind Ichigo, who was less than happy to know another man whose hair was a primary color. The teacher had visibly smirked when she saw Grimmjow, and couldn't seem to wipe the grin off her face. Ichigo was still fuming when he felt Grimmjow poke him in the back. He turned around, telling himself to not freak the fuck out. He wasn't even half turned around when he felt a small, folded piece of paper being slipped into his hand. He unfolded it and lined up the lines with the ones on his notebook. He then read it:

**"What's yuri?"**

Ichigo scribbled back:

**"It's girl-on-girl manga. What, you didn't know?"**

and then passed it back. He relaxed for a while, closing one eye and leaning his head back until he got his reply:

**"In case you haven't noticed, I've lived in Hueco Mundo my whole life. Besides, we Espada only read yaoi."**

When Ichigo read this, he leaned forward and rested his head on his desk. Yaoi? Definitely weird. But still hot.

_Crap. WHY AM I THINKING GAY THOUGHTS?!_

**"Did Aizen or Gin have anything to do with that?"** he replied.

**"No, of course not. Didn't you know by now? All the Espada are flaming homosexuals!"**

Ichigo crumpled up the paper and sighed. It turned out that Grimmjow's visit would be more interesting than he thought. A flaming blush touched his cheeks, making them almost the same color as his hair. Yup. Definitely more interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own Bleach. Sometimes I wish I did though… **

**2****nd**** chapter, blah blah blah…written by me and beta'ed by TheOtherKeybladeMaster. Seriously, read her fics…especially the Zeruto one…yummy. **

**This chapter is interesting, and in my opinion, a helluva lot better than the 1****st**** one. Sorry it's so short, I don't have much patience when writing stories. Chapter 3 should be coming out soon. :D**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**BTW…be warned…strong language.**

Walking home, Ichigo thought about the sudden arrival of his less-than-welcome acquaintance. _What had possessed him to come here? _he thought bad-temperedly. His whole story about Aizen and Gin seemed somewhat fishy. Maybe he had made it up on the spot. Ichigo wouldn't have put it past him. _I mean, we're talking about a dude with blue hair who can make himself a kitty cat at will. If he expects people to take him seriously, he's crazier than I thought. Maybe if he gets the hint that I don't like him he'll just leave, _he thought hopefully. Then again, he seemed like the kind of person who'd be hard to shake off. He was just so…energetic, so hyper. He didn't really seem to care what people thought of him. _Which is why he probably blatantly admitted to me that he was a total homo, _he thought, sighing heavily.

"Berrrrryyyy-chaaaannn!" he heard a voice call out from behind him, a hint of playfulness in the tone.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you want? Haven't you caused me enough grief already?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Awwww, do you really see it that way?" he whined. "Anyway, Berry-chan, I'm really hungry. Where can we get some food?"

"I don't know, find a restaurant. I'm not getting any for you though," Ichigo said.

"Whyyy?" Grimmjow said, sounding exactly like a spoiled little kid.

"Because I'm broke and I don't have any cash on me right now."

"Why would you need money to get food?" Grimmjow asked, obvious curiosity in his childlike tone.

"Because that's how you get food here. You buy it," Ichigo stated, as if it were obvious. "Did you really not know that?"

"How was I supposed to, anyway? I didn't exactly grow up here," Grimmjow said. "Anyway, that's ridiculous. Why can't you just take what you need, when you need it?"

"Because…" Ichigo started to explain. "Never mind, you're too much of an idiot to understand."

Grimmjow didn't say anything, but Ichigo had the feeling that he was glaring at him. He gave a satisfactory yawn. He had finally succeeded in pissing off the most annoying person in the world. He looked behind him, curious as to whether he had actually pissed him off that much.

There was no one behind him.

_Damn. He must be playing some kind of trick on me. _

"Hey, where are you? Are you messing with me?" Ichigo called out. Silence. At this point, he had either run away for good or he had decided to scare him. After looking around quite a bit, he decided he had wasted enough time and turned forward again, eyeing the ground in front of him in disgust, wishing Grimmjow would grow up a bit for once. As he was storming along, he thought he caught sight of a foot. He paused for a moment, just in case it was Grimmjow and there was some kind of trap.

A minute passed, and still there was nothing. He gave up yet again, and began making his way forward again. After he was sure he had examined every single crack in the cement, he looked up and saw the sign for his street above him. _Good. I'm almost home_, he thought with relief.

Suddenly, he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned around and there was still no one there.

"GOD DAMNIT GRIMMJOW! I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU'RE PULLING HERE, BUT IT'S GOTTA STOP _NOW_!" Ichigo exploded, finally losing his patience.

He heard a faint chuckle, and suddenly a pair of strong arms were wrapping around his neck.

"Get _off,_" Ichigo said. "_NOW. _I'm not joking."

"And why should I?" Grimmjow said, a grin on his face. "I like being near your face."

Ichigo's cheeks flamed bright red, and twisted around to look at him. "Stop hitting on me, Grimmjow, I'm serious."

"I'll hit on you if I want to. You _are _pretty damn hot, you know," Grimmjow stated matter-of-factly.

"That _does _it!" Ichigo yelled. "I swear, I am getting so fucking tired of you and your… urges." He attempted to disentangle himself, but Grimmjow hung on even tighter. "_LET ME GO!_" he yelled.

"Fine, no need to be so mean about it," Grimmjow said, letting go. "Homophobe."

"I'm not a homophobe!" Ichigo insisted. "I just don't…I don't enjoy gay people hitting on me is all."

Grimmjow let out a deep, throaty laugh. "Do you want to know what I have to say?"

Ichigo didn't reply. He was mesmerized with that laugh. It was so…enchanting? No. That wasn't the right word. It was…stunning? No. _Damnit, what is that word? And why am I only coming up with really flamboyant ones?_

Oh.

Right. That was the word he was looking for.

Yes, much as he hated to admit it, Grimmjow had a _really _sexy laugh.

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand waving in front of his face, waking him from his trance. "Hey, I asked you if you wanted to hear what I have to say," Grimmjow said.

"Sure, sure," Ichigo said, still in somewhat of a daze.

"What I have to say is that you should get used to being hit on by gay people. Much as you might hate it, our opinion on you will be the same as the opposite sex. Because look at you – you're basically sex on legs." Grimmjow said, in that stating-the-obvious way of his.

Ichigo nodded for a minute, and then seemed to fully awaken. "Wait – _what _did you just call me?"

"Sex on legs," Grimmjow said proudly. "I think it describes you perfectly."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, fed up with Grimmjow's over-the-top antics. _Yeah, like you're one to talk. You just had dirty thoughts based on Grimmjow's _laugh.

Ichigo sighed and decided not to worry about it. Things were certainly getting _very_ interesting.

**You guys are awesome for reading and please review. Reviews are like drugs and without them they stop the writing, (the high). I love analogies…**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Bleach!**

**Okay, I had some more fun with this chapter. Eh, who am I kidding this chapter was effing FUN to write. It's WAY longer than the last one, with about 2000 words instead of like…500. **

**Also, I rushed TheOtherKeybladeMaster quite a bit in the task of beta-ing this one because I couldn't wait for you guys to read it. Sorry about that :3**

**One last thing: Don't read if you don't like yaoi, foul language, or sexuality of any kind. This chapter is MUCH dirtier. **

Grimmichi Chapter 3

"I'M HOME!" Ichigo yelled as he walked in the door, a certain blue-haired man clinging to his arm like there was no tomorrow. He wiped his feet on the mat (with some difficulty, seeing as Grimmjow had now decided to attach himself to Ichigo's waist as well as his arm) and set his schoolbag down on the floor, taking off his shoes.

He hardly had time to breathe when a shadow appeared above his head, so large that it blocked out the overhead light completely. Ichigo looked up, knowing exactly what was causing this shadow. Not surprised, he saw the dirty bottom of a white sock heading straight for his face. He shot his free arm into the air and waited. A second later, a foot landed in his hand and he gripped it tightly and then swung its shocked owner out the still-open door.

"Wow, Ichigo, you've really improved!" a voice shouted. "You saw right through my Super-Awesome-Loving-Daddy Kick!" A man with unruly black hair appeared at the doorstep, brushing the dirt off his white lab coat. He scratched his head and then grinned brightly at Ichigo. After a few seconds, his eyes shifted to Ichigo's personal barnacle, aka Grimmjow.

"Oh, who's this?" he said, smiling. "Wait, aren't those my clothes he's wearing?" he added, his smile fading.

"Yeah, they are," Ichigo replied, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous get-up. "Apparently he didn't want to wear his little Espada cosplay to school."

"It is _not_ cosplay," Grimmjow said indignantly. "I just didn't want to get it dirty, is all."

"Yeah, whatever," Ichigo said. "You're willing to get it torn and bloody when you fight, but you're afraid of getting a little dust on it? Please."

"I _don't _want to get it torn and bloody," Grimmjow said. "I had it specially designed so that if someone cut my chest, which is the most likely place, their sword would avoid the fabric. I also asked for half sleeves, so if someone cut my arms, the fabric wouldn't get torn there either. Anyway, I don't want to walk around in something that exposes me indecently."

"It would do _that _even if it wasn't torn. People can see right _through_ you, you know. How is that _not _indecent exposure?" Ichigo argued.

"WE'RE ALL GAY, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?" Grimmjow yelled, finally losing his temper. "Do you want me to walk around like that wimp Ulquiorra who has his jacket zipped up to his neck? Sure, he's great if you want one of those _adorable_ emo boys, and he's an absolute _animal _in the bedroom. But I like to keep up my appearances."

"CAN YOU _NOT _TALK ABOUT THIS TO ME?" Ichigo yelled, losing his temper as well. "Do you think I _want _to know about your homosexual escapades? I'm 100% straight, I would hope you would _know _that by now!"

"Honestly, do you think I _care_?" Grimmjow said. "To me, your sexiness is off the charts. I don't care if you're straight as a board or as gay as I am. My only reasoning behind it is because you're an absolute knockout. That's all."

"Will you give it up with involving me in your stupid little fantasies?" Ichigo said, annoyed. "Get it through your head – _I'm not gay._"

"Oh, that doesn't matter to me. I've converted lots of straight guys. But none of them have been nearly as stubborn as you are. Usually, they give in to my charms by now. They just can't resist me," Grimmjow said, a devilish grin creeping onto his face.

"Well, you may not realize this at the moment, but I am going to _stay _straight, thank you very much," Ichigo said, crossing his arms.

"Awww, you're no fun," Grimmjow said. "You are a homophobe after all."

"_No, I'm not. _I've already said it before – I just don't like being hit on by gay people," Ichigo said. "Now if we can end this pointless conversation, I have to go do my homework."

He walked away from Grimmjow, who looked like he still really wanted to argue.

••••

Ichigo lounged at his desk, staring at the pile of books that was roughly as tall as his head. _Way too much homework, _he thought. _Way too much homework for a weekend, anyway. Teachers should be smart enough to know by now that students wait until the last minute to do everything. They probably just do it for torturing purposes. It's not like I don't have enough to worry about. _

He sighed in exhaustion.

It didn't help that the main cause of most of his worries happened to be downstairs.

In his house.

And it happened to want him. Badly.

And it happened to be a horny gay man.

_Jeez, I have all the luck, don't I? _He thought contemptuously.

He sighed again and pulled the top book off the pile. He read the characters: History of Japan, his least favorite subject.

He tipped the book onto its spine and let it fall open. He looked at the ancient-looking yellowed pages and glanced half-heartedly at the text. _Okay, _he thought. _I need to read this section. _

He forced his eyes on the first paragraph and narrowed them, concentrating, trying to absorb the words as he read them. After a few minutes of reading through, he found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He narrowed his eyes even further, to the point to where he could barely see the words._ Damn. Why can't I focus today? _He shook his head to clear it and restarted the paragraph.

After about two more minutes of unsuccessful reading, he quit and lay back in his chair, wondering why it was so hard to concentrate today. He closed his eyes fully and let the distracting thoughts fill his mind. Maybe he could get rid of them if he thought them through. Concentrating hard, he tried to focus on the things that were distracting him the most.

Letting his mind relax, he tried to imagine himself in his favorite place. Easy: the beach. He imagined he didn't have a care in the world, that there was nothing that was preventing him from just letting everything go. When he tried to imagine completely relaxing, only one thing prevented him from doing so. Calling this prevention to mind was no easy task, though. If he tried to give it a form, an embodiment, it only appeared as a black shape, completely out of his reach. In his mind, he tried to reach out to it, tried to understand it and know it. Seeing his hand stretching out towards it, it jumped backward and began to speed away from him. He ran after it, calling, but it shied further away, laughing as it went. Ichigo kept running, but he was growing tired, and his movements were becoming more sluggish. The black shape kept laughing and moving ahead of him, and Ichigo found himself falling farther and farther behind it. His feet felt like stones. The shapes began to swim in front of his eyes. However, the strange part was that the black shape slowly became clearer, even though everything else looked like shapeless masses of nothing. The shape began to take the shape of…what looked like a human being. Its shoulders and chest grew broader, and it began to sprout arms. Ichigo watched as the arms grew leaner, more muscular and more defined. Two blobs emerged from the bottom of the shape, and as they grew clearer they began to look more and more like legs. The arms were almost fully formed, and the fingers were slowly becoming more defined. Between the shoulders, something else began to emerge: a fairly round but still somewhat elongated shape, with short spikes on the very top of it. The rest of the body was as clear as day, and it was clearly a man. Ichigo, almost positive that he was hallucinating at this point, let his eyes travel up and down the shape, and it for some reason it seemed fairly familiar to him. The shape laughed yet again, the last bit of blurriness disappearing from its body.

Ichigo thought this sound was fairly familiar too, but he couldn't quite place it. He watched, dumbfounded, as some unseen light illuminated the shape.

His jaw literally dropped.

It was Grimmjow, stark naked, standing in front of him, hands resting casually on his hips, a bright grin on his handsome face.

"Hey, Ichigo. What's up?" Grimmjow asked, still smiling.

Ichigo tried to say something, but his vocal chords didn't seem to work. He tried to lift his arms and legs, but they wouldn't move. All he could do was move his eyes.

He took another look up at Grimmjow. He looked at his blue hair, shining in the light. He moved his eyes downward, looking at the rest of his face. His eyes were gleaming with humor, his mouth was still grinning, and they seemed to portray a mischievousness and a childishness that seemed to be radiating off of him in waves. Moving his eyes down again, he examined his well-muscled chest, scrutinizing the large purple scar that seemed to divide him in two.

His eyes followed the scar…down and down the line went, stopping right near his pelvis. Still, Ichigo's eyes kept moving down and down, stopping at one point.

He then realized that Grimmjow was _very, very _happy to see him.

Ichigo woke with a start from his dream, pretty sure he had just seen Grimmjow's junk in his mind.

He shivered, even though it was about 70 degrees in his room. Sure, he had seen a crapload of guys naked before, in the changing rooms when he used to do karate. _But that was when we were all 6 and no one really gave it a second thought. _

What had just happened was different. If one were stretch the truth just a bit, he had just dreamed sexually about another man.

_Wait, wait, wait. Slow down, _he told himself. Setting his brain to work again, he tried to think of why he had basically dreamed of Grimmjow's dick. He plopped his head heavily into his hands, struggling to remember. He sat like that for a moment, waiting for the answer to come to him.

Suddenly, he sat up straight in a flash of realization. _That's right, _he thought. _I couldn't concentrate on my homework so I was trying to think of things that distracted me. Then I guess I fell asleep and…dreamed…of a…naked…Grimmjow…._

_So what does that mean? _He mused. _Does it mean that I…like Grimmjow? _

"Impossible," he said out loud.

_You _did _dream about his dick, you know, _he thought. _I wouldn't call liking him like that impossible if you did that. _

"Shut up," he told himself, and then turned his eyes back toward his homework. Frowning at it once more, he made another effort to string the words together into plausible sentences. As he progressed through the paragraphs, his eyebrows became more furrowed, less of his eyes were visible, and the creases on his forehead grew deeper.

Still, it did nothing. Letting his concentration slip, the words blurred together and the world around him became fuzzy. Everything was slowly turning a light shade of blue. For a short second, his eyes rolled back in his head and the only thing he could see was Grimmjow in front of him, naked yet again, completely and totally hard, saying, "Hey, Ichigo, hop on for a ride. It'll be worth it. No charge, just for you."

Then Grimmjow winked and licked his lips.

Ichigo came back to reality with a start. _That had sexuality in it. There's no question about it. I wonder, subconsciously, do I want him to say that to me? _

"No! Of course not!" he yelled out loud, indignantly.

_Yes, you do, _he thought. _You want to ride him like a mechanical bull and have all sorts of fun with him. Isn't that right, Ichigo? _

Ichigo didn't answer. He was too busy trying to fight the huge bulge in his pants.

**Please review…reviews are like cupcakes for a starving person. They keep me alive and writing.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Bleach, or Invader Zim, or Converse :3**

**Um…might be slight OOC for Ulquiorra, partly because I'm not a ninja writer XD And by the way, did I mention Ulquiorra's gonna be in this chappie? I personally dislike Ulquiorra, however, at the urging of my beta, TheOtherKeybladeMaster, I managed to fit him in here **** But yes, please review because reviews are like coffee when you're tired of writing :D**

_Stepping quietly down the dimly lit sidewalks of Karakura town, a dark figure made its way down the road. It faced the ground, appearing to examine the pavement closely. The light from the streetlights illuminated a head of shiny black hair and a very pale complexion. The figure kept walking, out of the light of the streetlight and plunging into darkness once more. Then, it stopped and looked up. As it did, its green eyes glimmered slightly, the faint light reflecting off of them. The figure turned to the side towards the rows of houses, and looked up at the building that stood before it. Glancing at the sign, he saw the name 'Kurosaki'. _

_A grin spread across the figure's pallid face. _

Ichigo's eyes were open, and it was way too early for them to be in that state. He groaned and rolled over. Closing his eyes and shutting them tight, he put his pillow over his head. Not even 5 seconds had passed when an image of a naked blue-haired man popped into his brain, grinning at him and holding out a can of whipped cream.

"_Will you do the honors for me, Ichigo?" _

Forcing his eyes open, Ichigo threw the pillow off of him and sat fully upright. Breathing out angrily, he eyed the tented area in his pants that was slowly becoming very obvious.

_It's morning wood, that's all, _he forcedly thought, and bolted out of bed.

Running to the bathroom, he shut the door and quickly looked at his reflection in the mirror. As usual, his fiery orange hair was standing up in all directions, and looked completely hopeless. His complexion was very pale, even paler than usual, and he looked on edge. _Plus I smell kind of crappy too. I guess I'll have to take the goddamn shower. _He turned to face his bathtub and turned on the water, waiting for the hot water to actually start working. After it had gotten to a good temperature, he turned on the shower and stepped in.

•••••••

He finally stepped out after about twenty minutes. Before he had even grabbed a towel he heard a voice shout from downstairs, "ICHIGOOO! THERE'S A DUDE HERE TO SEE YOU!"

Oh.

Fuck.

_Please let it not be another gay Espada, please let it not be another gay Espada, _Ichigo thought fervently. Yanking a towel from the rack, he dried himself off thoroughly, wrapped the towel around his waist, and made his way downstairs.

"Dad?" he said. "You told me there was someone he-"

He stopped as he almost ran into someone. "Oh, sor…"

His sentence trailed off again as he looked down at the figure in front of him. He was in some form of shock.

Holy shit.

It was Ulquiorra Schiffer, in all his emo-boy glory.

Ulquiorra was wearing a green hoodie that looked like Gir from Invader ZIM, with a pair of ears on the hood, a super-tight pair of black skinny jeans, and on his feet he sported black Converse high tops. His hood was pulled up all the way over his hair, and he looked up at Ichigo with disdainful, cold green eyes.

"How nice to see you again, Ichigo. I always wondered what your house looked like while I was kicking your ass in fights," Ulquiorra said smugly. Glancing at Ichigo's bare chest, he remarked, "I see you still have a few battle scars left from our last one." He lifted his hand and began reaching out to poke one, an uncharacteristically mesmerized look on his face.

_How nice, _Ichigo thought. _Another gay Espada. _

"Ulquiorra, why the hell are you here?" Ichigo said irritably. "I thought you _hated me. _So, if you don't mind, can you please explain why you are here right now?"

Ulquiorra opened his mouth to speak, but just as he did, Grimmjow burst in through the doorway, looking from Ulquiorra to Ichigo and back again.

"Oh…hi guys…what's going on?" Grimmjow said, uncharacteristically shy.

"Well, we were just discussing why HE'S HERE!" Ichigo bellowed, jabbing his index finger at Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra raised his hand at Grimmjow and then dropped it, like he was too lazy to wave hello.

"Oh. Well actually, I don't really know," Grimmjow said, looking genuinely confused. "Why are you here?"

Ulquiorra strolled casually over to Grimmjow, and, ever so slowly, brought his arms around the taller man's neck, looking up at him, his normally cold green eyes smoldering slightly.

"Oh…I don't know. I guess I was looking for a bit of entertainment is all," he said, smirking.

Ichigo, looking at the two gay men, was suddenly furious. _How dare Ulquiorra just waltz right in here and hit on Grimmjow! Little fucker. Probably wants to steal him from me. _

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes. He was getting seriously tired of these weird thoughts. _Shut up, inner voice. All you do is get me into trouble. _

_No, I don't, _it answered. _All I do is tell you what you really feel. And I'm telling you right now that you WANT Grimmjow. Got it, stupid homophobe? _

_Damn, _Ichigo thought_. It's right again. I might actually be insane. I'm talking to myself now. _

"Ulquiorra, we are _over. _I'm not going to _entertain _you, or whatever you expected me to do," Grimmjow said. "Find a hot guy in Seireitei or something. There are plenty of them in there."

"I think you need to calm down, Grimmjow. All I'm saying is that Karakura Town should be fun," Ulquiorra said. "After all, I will be here for a while."

Hearing this, Ichigo snapped back to reality. He stomped over to Ulquiorra and grabbed one of the ears on his Gir hoodie.

"WHOA, WHOA, what the _fuck_ do you mean 'you'll be here for a while'", Ichigo growled.

"Oh, yes, that. Well, I'm still working out the details with my planned future place of residence," Ulquiorra said. "So I'm just going to stay one or two weeks until those things are settled."

"NO. You are not allowed to do that. _Go away_." Ichigo said, sounding incredibly childish and indignant as he did so.

"Come on, Ichigo. That's just unreasonable. He needs a place to stay and you have no right to refuse that to him. It's not like he knows anyone else here," Grimmjow said, sounding mature for once. Ulquiorra looked complacent.

"Whatever," Ichigo said. "Just keep him away from me." Then he ran up the stairs, heading for his bedroom and flopping onto his bed. Looking down, he realized he was still wearing nothing but a towel. _Well, if anyone has a problem with that, they can kiss my ass._

Burying his face in his pillow, he pretended that Ulquiorra was about…twenty miles away. Yeah. Good distance to keep from the little bastard. Just then, he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

Groaning loudly, he said, "Go away. I don't care who you are."

Whoever it was came in anyway, obviously not caring what he thought. Ichigo kept his face buried in his pillow, hoping it wasn't Ulquiorra.

A voice whispered into his ear, "Hey. You. Ginger."

Ichigo groaned inwardly. _Great, _he thought. _It's Ulquiorra. _

"And what do you fucking want?" he growled.

"Nothing," Ulquiorra said stoically. "I just thought that we could enjoy a nice conversation together is all."

"A nice conversation? Really?" Ichigo asked, sitting up angrily. "Okay, you little ass, what do you want to talk about?"

In an instant, Ulquiorra's demeanor changed. The look in his eyes turned to a frosty glare as he lunged at Ichigo and pinned him down on the bed forcefully. Ichigo struggled up, but Ulquiorra, despite looking like a total shrimp, held him down completely.

"Now," Ulquiorra said coldly. "There is a matter we need to discuss regarding the Sexta Espada."

"You mean Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked guardedly. "What about him?"

Ulquiorra leaned his face in closer to Ichigo's and put his mouth close to his ear, Ulquiorra's warm breath tickling him and making him squirm.

"He's _mine. _Pull one little move, Ichigo Kurosaki, and you will be spending the rest of your existence in a hospital room."

Ichigo's face registered shock as Ulquiorra slowly shuffled himself off of Ichigo's bed, heading for the door.

Finally realizing what just happened, Ichigo slid off his bed, still holding the towel around his waist.

"Ulquiorra," Ichigo growled. "Do you think I give a crap about what you threaten me with?"

Ulquiorra stopped dead.

"I'll hit on whoever I want," Ichigo said angrily. "So you can go and suck it."

Slowly, Ulquiorra turned around. He stared blankly at Ichigo for a second, and then he walked out of the room.


End file.
